Sunday, February 1, 2009

Short Story

Becoming the Best is Not Easy

Years back there was this boy that went by the name of Darrell Williams. He was the greatest basketball player of his graduating class in the whole entire country. He was 6 feet 7inches but he was very gaunt. This was the only let down in his game. He was not too powerful. Darrell was very cocky and vexed people when he played. He played like a point guard but was a forward. No one that ever played him could compete with him cause they were not use to having someone so big have ball handling skills like he did. All the big guys guarding him could not stop him. His shot was deft and he could jump out of gym. In other words he has prowess in basketball.
This other not as much notoriety basketball player as Darrell but still one of the best in the country was getting ready to face off against Darrell. He has been working hard all season to be the best in the nation. His name was Lawrence Williams, not related to Darrell at all. He was 6'9" and was bigger than Darrell. Lawrence very good but was a quiet guy who didn’t put him self out there so college scouts could recognize him. But his numbers would show his skills. There was a big tournament coming up where he would play Darrell’s team.
Darrell played in a small city where there weren’t so many good teams as where Lawrence played where there where lots of good teams ranked in the nation. The game came closer and closer. Lawrence was very excited for this game and couldn’t wait to play Darrell because most people didn’t like him because he was so cocky. Lawrence was so excited going into this because now he was ranked in the top 10 in the country. Now everyone would want to see this game between him and Darrell.
It was the day of the game. He walked off the bus into the cold air then entered the building. He had his music in listening to his favorite song. He was pumped. There was already games going on because it was a national tournament. He was ready to play, in the locker room ten minutes before the start his team was impromptu and going nuts. On the other side Darrell was pump to because of all the talk of this game. He was all ready talking crap against the other team.
Both teams were warming up ready to go. Whistle blew and horn went off. Both teams came out for the tip. Darrell and Lawrence came out for the tip. They both soared so high up for the tip but Darrell came out with it and once he got the tip he took off to the basket and someone set a screen for him and alley-oop was thrown for him high up and he dunked it right away for an amazing start for the game. They gave the ball to Lawrence right away. Darrell came out to guard him and Lawrence dribble right by him easily.

1 comment:

Mike's Blog said...

I. The conflict was between Darrell and Lawrence to see who was going to win the game. This was an external conflict. The conflict wasn’t resolved. The story didn’t really have an ending to it.

II. Neither the protagonist nor the antagonist changes over the story because the story doesn’t really end.

III. My favorite part of the story was when the author was describing the two basketball players because he used good details. This occurs during the rising action. “Darrell was very cocky and vexed people when he played. He played like a point guard but was a forward. No one that ever played him could compete with him cause they were not use to having someone so big have ball handling skills like he did. All the big guys guarding him could not stop him. His shot was deftly and he could jump out of gym.”

IV. The story’s best quality is the description of the two characters. With the author’s description, I could really picture both of them.

V. I think the theme of the story is don’t brag. Some things the author could have done to develop the theme better would be to have bragging not allow Darrell get into the school and gives the spot to Lawrence instead because Darrell bragged too much.

VI. The author needs to finish the story. It’s very good, but then the story just ends.